Jokes

Here are some jokes from my Cosmo Girl Magazine.You may have heard some but I think they're funny.
Louvre Me Alone
A guy in Paris stals several paintings from the Louvre Museum.But after he gets them out past security, his van runs out of gas two blocks away from the museum and he gets caught.The police ask how he could mastermind such a complex crime and then make such a moronic error.The thief replies, "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the van Gough.

Idiot Savant
On the first day of freshman year a sarcastic teacher asks, "if there are any idiots in the room will they please stand up?"After a long silence one freshman rises to his feet."Now then mister why do you consider youself and idiot?" inquires the teacher."Well actually I don't." says the student "but I hate seeing you stand up there all alone."

Q:Why didn't G-Unit get on the bus?
A:I will answer this in my next blog I would like you guys to comment on what you think the answer is.

Charmed And Dangerous
One night a girl brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.they are appaled by his appearance:leather jacket,motorcycle boots,tattoos,and a pierced nose.Later they pull there daughter aside to express their concern.Dear says the mother he doesn't seem very nice.Oh please says the daughter If he weren't nice why would he be doing 500 hours of comunity service?

Space Cadet
A guy is pumping gas when all of a suden a spaceship lands at the next pump.An alien gets out and starts fueling up his ship.The guy watches and notices the letter UFO on the side of the ship.He asks the alien does that mean unidentified flying object?The alien lookas at him funny and says Uh no Unleaded fuel only.

Altar-ior Motives
At a wedding rehearsal, the groom says to the pastor, "this $100 bill is yours if you change the vows--just leave out the part where I promise to love,obey,and honor her as long as we both shall live."He gives the pastor the bill and walks away satisfied.During the vows the pastor turns to the groom and says,"Do you promise to obey her every command,serve her breakfast in bed daily,and swear never to look at another woman as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulps and in a shaky voice says,"Yes." The he hisses to the pastor,"hey we had a deal!" The pastor quietly returns the $100 bill and whispers to the groom,"she made me a better offer."

Thats it Bi.